It is a common mistake that parents make in pressurising their children to work so hard that impact on the children’s health and behaviours. They do not fully understand the damage that they are causing for their children.

Parents of course want the absolute best for their children but most of the times it is unfortunate to recognise when things go wrong.

The results of negative effects

The new survey shows that 120 places in grammar schools where they receive 2,400 applicants. Due to these facts, parents feel that their children need to work hard and tend to push their children to extreme levels and make an assumption that the children will do better. In contrary, by putting these children under sheer pressure, without their knowledge they are digging a pit for failure.

How to identify the pressure?

  • Some parents focus on hypothetical possibilities that their children cope well with the pressure than the practicalities. However, deep down they are not. The pressure is bottled up, buried deep down and on the way on the day, it will explode.
  • This kind of pressure may work for adults to an extent however, children are not able to absorb or cope too hard.
  • Children are continuously driven to do more tests in order to measure process. Children gain knowledge and skills by learning and making mistakes but not by sitting for tests after tests.  Tests will only help the children to develop speed, accuracy and they are not teaching tools.
  • Children will have a frame of mind that if they do not succeed that they will be letting their parents down. They try so hard to please their parents and eventually, they freeze on the day and under perform due to stress.

As a parent, how would I reduce pressure?

  • If you have thought of securing a place in the Grammar School, start early preparation, giving enough time for the children to settle in and gently take them through.
  •  Do not let your situations, dictate your emotions. Be a thermostat that you control the temperature at home and every situation.
  • Yelling or shouting will get you and your children nowhere. Teach them gently with a smile and maintain that tough love.
  • Each and every family has different boundaries and style; hence, do not discuss with other parents and try to impose what your family isn’t accustomed of.
  • Avoid pressurising your children at the last minute. Study your children and understand which method works for them.  Do not enforce the systems of your parents.
  • Give them enough rest and create a peaceful and happy environment.
  • Don’t overdo assessment papers which is counterproductive.

The bottom line is as parents we may take responsibility in managing our time and synchronise to the children’s time and work together effectively towards achieving the goal.

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